Day 1
So, I start off my adventure today, and my two "beat friends" who I will lovingly call "metro-boy" and "needs more brain cells" come to my house talking about a request from some professor lady. Okay, whatevs. I get to choose a pokemon. So the choices are: half-wit stuck up lizard thingy, a pig that looks like it's going to crap himself, and an adorable otter-type thing. I go with fashion over function and choose the otter. Cute matters right?
So, after chooseing our pokemon, "needs more brain cells" wants to battle in my damn room. Fine, I'l slaughter her. I rip her to pieces in roughly 4 turns, and she destroyed my room. Wonderful, now I have to redecorate, and bitch better replace my TV or I will kill her for real next time. Some "best friend" she is. Mom is gonna kill me when she sees this. "Metro boy" asks to fight, I slaughter him too, and then he alerts us that we are needed at the professors lab. Huh... know it all.
Downstairs Mom stops me to tell me she will clean my room. Flipping sweet. Maybe I can talk her into replacing my TV later.
So, the Professors lab. Nothing too fancy. She gives us poke dex's to document every pokemon we encounter. Great. Make's young adults start a pissing contest on who got more than who. Freaking wonderful. Also, she apparently thinks we ride the short bus and lick windows... cause she is asking us to follow her to learn how to find wild pokemon. YOU WALK IN THE DAMN GRASS AND THEN EVENTUALLY FIND YOU! DONE! EASY! Freaking-A! Okay, so meet her at the next town. Fine. It's only like a 50 feet walk. I can see the dang poke center from here.
"Metro boy" and "Needs more brain cells" ask for a competition on who catches the most pokemon on our little 50 foot trek. Fine. Be that way. I will win.
------ 5 game time hours later -------
Okay, now that I have caught one of every pokemon available on that path lets see who wins. I have 4, and the 2 stooges have 2 pokemon each. WTF!!!!! I just wasted a million poke balls and 5 HOURS when I didn't need to? Did they even flipping try! -headdesk- I am friends with morons. Great.
More boring instructions about where to buy things, battling, and poke centers... OH LOOK! Something interesting is happening. Who the frack is Team Plasma? They want to free the pokemon by using pokemon trapped in poke balls to fight trainers to steal the trainers pokemon? Isn't that kinda defeating the purpose of FREEING THEM!? I am trapped in a world full of idiots... maybe I'll start my own team... it'll be Team BRAINCELLS cause dear god I am the only one with more than 2 brain cells in this whole town it seems! UGH!
So Team "Contradiction" marches off and leaves everyone puzzled. Except me. I know they are a bunch of pansies, and I don't really care. I want to get the badges, beat the elite 4 and move to another freaking continent already, and I'm only a few hours into my journey. So, my "best friends" and I split ways to start our journey to beat the gym leaders. I walk through every piece of tall grass to catch everything I can and level up everything. I beat the first gym leader, who apparently has multiple personalities, and then call it a night. Stupid people and their stupid ideas. Sure, challenge me with the pokemon that is super effective against me, but the dude at the front of the gym tells you theres someone in the dream forest that gives you a super effective pokemon for the one you will face in this gym. Dumb asses.
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Alright guys, HI! This is Markie now. I will occasionally be documenting my pokemon adventures this way for fun. Why? Cause I am weird, and strange, and it's fun. So, read, and laugh.
Also on a special note: Ramona..... <3 your face and you totally rock =D
Showing posts with label nintendo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nintendo. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
On Pokemon... and their craziness
First off... don't judge. I am 22, and I still play pokemon. I had no childhood when it comes to things like Pokemon because for some reason I just never got into it until I was in my late teens. So, don't judge, I am just making up for last time.
So to cheet me up the other day the boyfriend decided to buy me Pokemon White. It's the newest edition of the game on the Nintendo DS. It has cut scenes, 600+ pokemon, and is more 3-D then the previous games. Finally, pokemon is catching up to the present day graphics that it whole heartedly deserves. I wanna see cute animal-type things battle in high-definition dangit! Anyway.... so heres what you get to choose as first pokemon:
From left to right:
Snivy is a grass pokemon and to me, looks like he's full of himself. Sure, he is kinda cute, but let tme explain that look. He looks like he was born with a silverspoon shoved so far up his butt that he thought one day he would rule the world. Since I am playing a girl character about to go on an epic journey to collect all the pokemon, I don't need to battle with my own damn pokemon for the spotlight. So I ruled him out right away. Not going there.
Tepig is a fire pokemon. He looks like he's on way to many anti-depressants and that he may snap and go crazy one day. Maybe once he hits rock bottom, goes to rehab, and gets better I will choose him as my starter, but until then, he needs to work on laying off the drugs. He's cute, but I don't want to enable an addict. I couldn't handle that burden.
Oshawott is a water pokemon. He is ADORABLE! He looks like a cute little otter, that for some reason never gets picked. He looks like he just wants to be taken home, fed milk and cookies, and loved. He looks like the pokemon that gets passed up for all the other ones. So, he became my starter, and I gave him a good home. I picked up his shiny little poke ball, put it in my non-exsistant pocket, and went on my way.
And so the adventure began.
Now... every game has had their own Team whatever to fight. There's been Team Rocket, Team Galactic, Team Magma, and Team Aqua. (I am sure there are more, but I don't know them all...) This game has Team Plasma, who are fighting for the freedom of all pokemon by stealing everyone's pokemon, Kinda annoying, and just as incompetent as all the other teams in the past. They come off as slightly more intelligent, but sadly it's all a ruse to make you think there is more of a challenge.
Also, as an adult playing these games.. some of the moves that your pokemon learns are no longer innocent sounding. Like when my Oshawott learned "Water Sport" I died laughing. It's supposed to be a move that improves the effectiveness of water-type moves. But my mind went to a totally different place. Same with using "Lick" from my male Lillipup on a wild female Lillipup and it makes them faint instantly. Yeah... I should pull my mind out of the gutter when I'm playing these games otherwise I will die laughing every time one of my pokemon learns a new move. I know, I know. It's a kids game and intended to be innocent... but it's really not as innocent as you think.
So to cheet me up the other day the boyfriend decided to buy me Pokemon White. It's the newest edition of the game on the Nintendo DS. It has cut scenes, 600+ pokemon, and is more 3-D then the previous games. Finally, pokemon is catching up to the present day graphics that it whole heartedly deserves. I wanna see cute animal-type things battle in high-definition dangit! Anyway.... so heres what you get to choose as first pokemon:
From left to right:
Snivy is a grass pokemon and to me, looks like he's full of himself. Sure, he is kinda cute, but let tme explain that look. He looks like he was born with a silverspoon shoved so far up his butt that he thought one day he would rule the world. Since I am playing a girl character about to go on an epic journey to collect all the pokemon, I don't need to battle with my own damn pokemon for the spotlight. So I ruled him out right away. Not going there.
Tepig is a fire pokemon. He looks like he's on way to many anti-depressants and that he may snap and go crazy one day. Maybe once he hits rock bottom, goes to rehab, and gets better I will choose him as my starter, but until then, he needs to work on laying off the drugs. He's cute, but I don't want to enable an addict. I couldn't handle that burden.
Oshawott is a water pokemon. He is ADORABLE! He looks like a cute little otter, that for some reason never gets picked. He looks like he just wants to be taken home, fed milk and cookies, and loved. He looks like the pokemon that gets passed up for all the other ones. So, he became my starter, and I gave him a good home. I picked up his shiny little poke ball, put it in my non-exsistant pocket, and went on my way.
And so the adventure began.
Now... every game has had their own Team whatever to fight. There's been Team Rocket, Team Galactic, Team Magma, and Team Aqua. (I am sure there are more, but I don't know them all...) This game has Team Plasma, who are fighting for the freedom of all pokemon by stealing everyone's pokemon, Kinda annoying, and just as incompetent as all the other teams in the past. They come off as slightly more intelligent, but sadly it's all a ruse to make you think there is more of a challenge.
Also, as an adult playing these games.. some of the moves that your pokemon learns are no longer innocent sounding. Like when my Oshawott learned "Water Sport" I died laughing. It's supposed to be a move that improves the effectiveness of water-type moves. But my mind went to a totally different place. Same with using "Lick" from my male Lillipup on a wild female Lillipup and it makes them faint instantly. Yeah... I should pull my mind out of the gutter when I'm playing these games otherwise I will die laughing every time one of my pokemon learns a new move. I know, I know. It's a kids game and intended to be innocent... but it's really not as innocent as you think.
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