Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Pokemon White: the Adventures of Felicty Part 1

Day 1
So, I start off my adventure today, and my two "beat friends" who I will lovingly call "metro-boy" and "needs more brain cells" come to my house talking about a request from some professor lady. Okay, whatevs. I get to choose a pokemon. So the choices are: half-wit  stuck up lizard thingy, a pig that looks like it's going to crap himself, and an adorable otter-type thing. I go with fashion over function and choose the otter. Cute matters right?

So, after chooseing our pokemon, "needs more brain cells" wants to battle in my damn room. Fine, I'l slaughter her. I rip her to pieces in roughly 4 turns, and she destroyed my room. Wonderful, now I have to redecorate, and bitch better replace my TV or I will kill her for real next time. Some "best friend" she is. Mom is gonna kill me when she sees this. "Metro boy" asks to fight, I slaughter him too, and then he alerts us that we are needed at the professors lab. Huh... know it all.

Downstairs Mom stops me to tell me she will clean my room. Flipping sweet. Maybe I can talk her into replacing my TV later.

So, the Professors lab. Nothing too fancy. She gives us poke dex's to document every pokemon we encounter. Great. Make's young adults start a pissing contest on who got more than who. Freaking wonderful. Also, she apparently thinks we ride the short bus and lick windows... cause she is asking us to follow her to learn how to find wild pokemon. YOU WALK IN THE DAMN GRASS AND THEN EVENTUALLY FIND YOU! DONE! EASY! Freaking-A! Okay, so meet her at the next town. Fine. It's only like a 50 feet walk. I can see the dang poke center from here.

"Metro boy" and "Needs more brain cells" ask for a competition on who catches the most pokemon on our little 50 foot trek. Fine. Be that way. I will win.

------ 5 game time hours later -------

Okay, now that I have caught one of every pokemon available on that path lets see who wins. I have 4, and the 2 stooges have 2 pokemon each. WTF!!!!! I just wasted a million poke balls and 5 HOURS when I didn't need to? Did they even flipping try! -headdesk- I am friends with morons. Great.

More boring instructions about where to buy things, battling, and poke centers... OH LOOK! Something interesting is happening. Who the frack is Team Plasma? They want to free the pokemon by using pokemon trapped in poke balls to fight trainers to steal the trainers pokemon? Isn't that kinda defeating the purpose of FREEING THEM!? I am trapped in a world full of idiots... maybe I'll start my own team... it'll be Team BRAINCELLS cause dear god I am the only one with more than 2 brain cells in this whole town it seems! UGH!

So Team "Contradiction" marches off and leaves everyone puzzled. Except me. I know they are a bunch of pansies, and I don't really care. I want to get the badges, beat the elite 4 and move to another freaking continent already, and I'm only  a few hours into my journey. So, my "best friends" and I split ways to start our journey to beat the gym leaders. I walk through every piece of tall grass to catch everything I can and level up everything. I beat the first gym leader, who apparently has multiple personalities, and then call it a night. Stupid people and their stupid ideas. Sure, challenge me with the pokemon that is super effective against me, but the dude at the front of the gym tells you theres someone in the dream forest that gives you a super effective pokemon for the one you will face in this gym. Dumb asses.


Alright guys, HI! This is Markie now. I will occasionally be documenting my pokemon adventures this way for fun. Why? Cause I am weird, and strange, and it's fun. So, read, and laugh.

Also on a special note:  Ramona..... <3 your face and you totally rock =D


  1. YAY!! My husband thinks I'm crazy cause I sat here giggling and disturbing his sleep!! I don't even play Pokemon, but you kinda made me want to! LOL
    I too, <3 YOUR FACE!!!

  2. Also, on a side note... If I played I would totally pick the overly happy fire pig thing!! His face makes me grin :D
    Damn it... if I end up playing pokemon, next time I'm in WA I'm coming after you... ;)